Are you frustrated when you ask your child “How was school?” and all you get is “Fine…”?

After spending time apart, you want to reconnect with your kids. If your child goes to school, you’re curious about what they did during the day, their grades, the teacher, or you’re wondering how your child is doing socially.

You want an open conversation with your child, to hear about their feelings, to hear what they’re learning, and maybe check up on their homework.

How can you deepen the conversation?

One of the easiest ways to get a better answer from your kids is to ask a better question.

I think you’ll love this list SO much that you’ll put it on your phone or print it out for the fridge.

Questions about Learning

  1. What did you learn today?
  2. If I were a fly on the wall of your classroom, what would I have seen?
  3. What is your favorite topic to learn about? What are your questions about that topic?
  4. What is your favorite class? (What is the class you hate the least?)
  5. What is your least favorite class? (What is the class you hate the most?)
  6. Is there anything that you would like support with today?
  7. What are the things you are most interested in learning about? How much freedom do you have to explore topics that you are most interested in?

Questions about Teachers

  1. When you have a question about something, what do you do?
  2. What has your teacher done that you disagreed with?
  3. What has your teacher done that you really appreciated?
  4. What adults at school do you feel the safest with / trust the most?
  5. If you need help at school, who do you go to?
  6. How comfortable do you feel to participate in class? Raise your hand? Ask questions?
  7. In comparison to your classmates, do you participate more or less?
  8. Do you like strict teachers or flexible teachers the best? Why?
  9. Who are your most and least favorite teachers? (Which teachers do you hate the most, or hate the least?)
  10. What qualities do the best teachers have?

Social Questions

  1. Who did you play with (sit next to, or work with) today?
  2. What do you like better, working on your own or in a small group? Why?
  3. Who are your best friends at school?
  4. What do you look for in your friends?
  5. Do you like who you are when you are with your friends?
  6. Is there anyone at school that you wouldn’t want as a friend? Why?
  7. Is there anyone at school who struggles with friendships, or gets picked on? What happens? How is it handled? Has anything like that ever happened to you?
  8. At your school, are there cliques or kids who often hang out together? What keeps those friend groups together?
  9. Are there popular kids at your school? What do you think they did to become popular?
  10. Do you think popular kids have more or less freedom to do (wear or be) what they want?
  11. Would you like to be more popular than you are? What would you need to do to gain popularity?

Emotional Questions

  1. What feelings do you have when you think about school?
  2. When someone is upset at school what happens?
  3. If someone gets made fun of, or bullied at school how is it handled?
  4. What was the best part of your day?
  5. What was the worst part?
  6. Do you feel like you belong? For you, where does belonging come from?
  7. Do you think people at school understand you? Why or why not?
  8. What things does the school do to help kids feel safe and understood? Do you think these things work?
  9. What kinds of rules are there in your class? Who came up with those rules? What happens if they are not followed?
  10. Have you ever felt unsafe at school? How did you handle it?
  11. What is your best school memory?
  12. If you could wave a magic wand and change one thing about school what would it be?

Do you have any good questions to add to the list to get kids talking about their day? Put them in the comments and let me know.


If you’d like more helpful (and printable!) parenting resources for your fridge check out:

The Best Peaceful Parenting One-Liners

Conversation Starters for Parents of Tweens and Teens

If, after reading the blog today, you’re interested in stuff like this WITH me… here’s how you join the Village.

You and I can personally talk in there if you’re struggling to figure out how to talk to your child.